Charlie's Return
by MBP
Summary: It's got to be hard to be Charlie Weasley and get to the Battle of Hogwarts just moments too late... to never be around when it really seems to count, for that matter. This follows him through the immediate aftermath of DH.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I most certainly do not own Harry Potter. The only thing I own (sort of) is the idea for this story. See A/N at the end for clarification.**

The battle is raging as Charlie Weasley rushes through the front gates of Hogwarts. The first thing he realizes is that getting to the castle won't be easy. He also knows, though, that nothing will keep him from his family now. Drawing his wand, he begins to run, aiming curses at the Death Eaters that try to get in his way.

It takes him a long time to get inside, but once he does, the first person he sees is McGonagall. She stares at him in shock, and he can't help but feel guilty. It's been a long time since he's been back at Hogwarts – not since the Triwizard Tournament, in fact – and he's sure that's why she is surprised. Everyone else in his family, at least, was there for Dumbledore's funeral, but not Charlie. No, Charlie was never there when it counted. Well, this time he is. This time… he will help.

"Where is everyone?" he shouts at her, and she stares at him for another moment before motioning to the Great Hall.

He wonders at her silence even as he rushes away from her. In his memory, Professor McGonagall is always in charge and never at a loss for words. But as he goes running into the Great Hall, he skids to a halt at the sight that greets him – and he finally begins to understand what it means to be speechless.

The bodies line the wall, and he doesn't want to look, doesn't want to recognize any of them, but he is unable to look away. Aware of many eyes on him, he is still drawn to them, to the fallen heroes, and he walks along the row, hoping against hope that he won't find one he knows. But he knows he will. And when he sees Tonks's lifeless form – lying alongside Lupin's, no less – and didn't Mum just owl him that they had a baby? – he feels as if the life's been stolen out of _him_. His head starts to spin, and he knows he has to get away. It can't be Tonks. It _can't _be.

Hardly aware that his family is there, that they are watching him, that they are seeing his panic, his complete inability to cope with reality, he stumbles out of the Hall. He doesn't know where he is going, but he knows he can't be in there any longer with the bodies – with her body – with all of those people watching him. He finds an alcove soon – it didn't used to be an alcove, but he doesn't want to think about that now – and he huddles inside it.

If he draws his knees up to his chest and hides his face, no one will find him. He's sure of it … but he hadn't counted on Bill seeing him run out of the Hall and knowing the reason why. And sure enough, he's been sitting there not five minutes when he feels a hand on his arm, and he looks up with a start into his older brother's scarred face.

Bill is trying to smile but failing miserably. "Were you planning on finding us too?" he asks Charlie, and Charlie can't help but notice that Bill's voice sounds nothing like it usually does. He chalks this up to fear, though, and he tries to smile.

"Sorry about that, mate," he mutters. "It's just… I went in there. And I saw…" and he finds that he can't even say her name, but Bill says quietly, "I know. I saw her too. Mum says she was hit by a curse when her back was turned. She never even knew."

Charlie stares at him. "Do you think that makes it _better_?" he suddenly chokes. He shakes his head, and then he puts his face back into his arms even as he mumbles, "I think I might have actually loved her once."

He's not sure if Bill can really hear what he's just said, but it doesn't matter much either way. He just needed to say it, and now, he feels slightly calmer even though he's still miserable. This might also partially be due to the fact that Bill has now put his hand on his arm, and his older brother's touch has always calmed him. After another few moments, he raises his head again, but this time he manages a smile.

"I'm all right," he says, but Bill doesn't smile back. In fact, if it's at all possible, he looks even more serious than he did before. Charlie starts to get nervous.

"Bill?" he asks, and his voice shakes. "What haven't you told me?"

But Bill can't seem to say a word now, and he merely stands up and reaches down for Charlie's hand so he can pull him up as well. Charlie complies, but he wishes he could just shake whatever it is out of his older brother because the fear is starting to grip him again. What if Tonks weren't the only one…

It can't be that, though. He'd know by now, wouldn't he?

Bill leads him back to the Great Hall, but he doesn't take him in. He takes him to the doorway and then stops. After a moment, Charlie realizes where Bill is looking, and he forces himself to look there too. And what he sees, at first, seems normal. It's their family. Mum and Dad are there … but … is Mum crying? Why is she crying?

That's when he feels like he's moving in slow motion as he starts to take inventory of his siblings. Percy is standing there too. Percy came back? So shouldn't everyone be happy? But… Percy's crying too, Charlie suddenly realizes. He shifts his gaze quickly to Ron – and his eyes widen. Because his baby brother – the one who wants nothing more than to be thought of as an adult – is crying as well, and so is Hermione. Even more shocking, though, is Ginny. She – she's hugging Fleur? Since when does she even _like_ her, Charlie wonders. And then he sees George. And then he knows. Because he shouldn't just be seeing George. He should never just be seeing George.

And his stomach is dropping; he is falling, falling, falling into a hole, and he knows that if he doesn't sit down right now, he will fall down, and he doesn't say a word to Bill as he once again rushes away, but this time, he finds himself hurtling for the Water Closet, and then he's retching into the sink. He doesn't know when Bill appears behind him, but he is there, and he's rubbing Charlie's back as he hunches over the sink, his stomach aching. When he finally stops, his eyes meet Bill's in the mirror, and he realizes that if he can see the tears in his own eyes, so can Bill, and he whispers, "It's not Fred. Tell me it isn't Fred."

But he can see from Bill's face that it is Fred; it _is_, and now he's retching again, and Bill's hand on his back isn't making him feel any better; it _isn't_, and he can't seem to stop even though there's nothing left in him. When he finally manages to stop heaving, he slumps against the sink, his head down.

Bill seems to understand – either it's that or he's not saying anything because he can't – and it's some time before he asks if Charlie's ready to go back in?

The answer, of course, is no. He was ready before – before he knew what he would see. Now? He's not ready now. He shakes his head vehemently, but he can't bring himself to look Bill in the eye because the tears he's been trying to blink away are still right there, and he knows that Bill knows it too.

But he doesn't expect his legs to suddenly stop supporting him, and he finds himself sliding to the floor in a heap. Bill crouches down, concern etched on his face, but it turns to understanding, and then his older brother's arms are around him, and for the first time since he can remember, Charlie can't control himself, and he's crying harder than he can ever remember doing before. Bill's arms tighten around him, and he knows that Bill is crying too, but it doesn't make him feel any better; in fact, it makes him feel worse because if Bill is crying, that means that this is real. It isn't a nightmare, and even Bill can't make it better.

It is a long time before either of them is calm again, and Charlie is the first to stop crying. He shifts so he is holding onto Bill, and when Bill finally calms down himself, he starts to apologize, but Charlie stops him. If they start doing this now, they'll never stop. And Bill seems to understand because he stops immediately and merely helps Charlie to his feet once more.

It is time to go in.

The first person to see them is Percy, and his face crumples when he sees Charlie, the only brother who never really hated him for what he did to their family. He takes an almost involuntary step toward him, and Charlie opens his arms just in time to catch Percy. They hold each other tightly for a moment until Percy is finally able to let go, to choke that he's so happy Charlie is back and with them. Happy? How can he be happy, Charlie wonders, but he merely tries for a lopsided smile. At least Percy's making him feel like he's done something even though there's really nothing he can do now.

He moves onto Ron and Hermione, squeezing each of their shoulders, but while Hermione smiles at him tremulously, Ron can't seem to tear his eyes away from the one place Charlie has yet to look.

He goes to Ginny next, and when she realizes who is beside her, she throws herself into his arms in much the same way Percy had, and feeling her shake is even more surprising. She is, by far, the toughest of all of them, and he swallows the lump in his throat as he realizes how much his little sister must be hurting to let anyone see her like this – let alone _everyone_.

And now he's standing beside his parents, and his father's eyes are wet as he grabs Charlie in a crushing hug. It couldn't be clearer to Charlie that Arthur wants to hold onto his children as tightly as he possibly can right now, and he submits to the hug without a word. But his mum is next, and her eyes swollen as she wraps her arms around him, whispering, "I'm _so glad _you're here, dear."

"I wish I could have been here sooner… to help…" he finds himself saying even though he hadn't expected to say anything, but Molly merely hugs him ever more tightly as she whispers, "You're here now. That's all that matters."

But it isn't; it _isn't_, and as she releases him, he forces himself, at last, to turn to the last of his siblings, who don't look at all the way they're supposed to.

He stares at Fred. This is his little brother. It's his _little brother_, and all of a sudden, his mother's voice is ringing in his head as it sounded years ago: _You look after your brothers. They're younger than you are, and they're your responsibility._ And he didn't; he _didn't_, and now Fred's gone, and George – Charlie hardly realizes what he's doing as he touches George's shoulder.

George starts. No one has touched him yet, and he looks up into the one other face that looks remotely like the one he's lost, and his vacant expression starts to fade a little; the numbness starts to disappear, and then his shoulders start to shake even though he's not making a sound, and Charlie does the first thing that comes to mind and crouches beside George so he can hold him. George buries his face in his older brother's shoulder, and Charlie knows the others are watching them and that they can probably see the tears in his own eyes, but he doesn't care right now. The only thing that matters is that Fred and George were his responsibility, and he's let them down. He's never going to do that again.

**A/N: First of all, this is entirely dedicated to Dodger Gilmore. I got most of this idea from reading your Charlie chapter in "Things," and I needed to write tonight, so here it is. I hope it does justice to what you had in mind. And secondly, for now, I'm thinking this is a one shot, but if anyone has any interest in seeing more, let me know in a review. I hope you enjoy it. I'm finding it awfully sad.**


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Quick note: I got the name of the OC from Katy's (BadMum) Potterverse. Thanks. _

He was never there when it counted. Charlie shifts restlessly in his old bed on the night before Fred's funeral, and this is the only thought that keeps running through his mind. And sure, he is here now, and he knows that Mum and Dad will tell him that this is what counts, but it isn't. Now isn't enough. Now is hardly enough to make up for all of the times he's missed, for all of the owls that made him sit and stare out the window and wonder how he could be so far away. Like when his little sister was taken into the Chamber of Secrets … or when his father was attacked at the Ministry … or when his little brother and sister were hurt in the Department of Mysteries … or when Bill was hurt by Greyback … or when Fred…

He closes his eyes and tries to regulate his breathing. He's done it before. Like when Ginny…

_It is five years earlier. Charlie sits in a flat over a pub with a few friends. They are all drinking fire whiskey, and someone has brought a wizard chess set. Two of his friends are playing, and he's offering "helpful" hints, when an owl soars in the window. No one looks up, and he is surprised to see that it is a message from his parents. His mum usually only writes on weekends, and this is the middle of the week. Curiosity takes over, and he decides to open the parchment – and then immediately wishes he hadn't. Because his friend Eleri notices, and she turns to him in concern when she sees all of the color drain from his face._

"_What is it, Charlie?" she asks, and as he looks at her, he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Wordlessly, he passes her the parchment, and once she reads it, she pales as well. _

_Charlie hardly realizes what is happening as she quickly clears the rest of their friends out of the flat, and he is sitting and staring out the window when she sits down and hands the parchment back to him. He glances at it again, and a tremor suddenly courses through him. The paper falls onto the table, and he hunches over and buries his face in his hands._

_Eleri sits there silently and doesn't say a word, and when he sits up, his face is wet, but she doesn't look at him, and he stretches, surreptitiously wiping his tears away in the process._ _Finally, he sighs, and his voice is scratchy when he mumbles, "It's just – it's my little sister. And I don't know – how will I know when she's ok? There's nothing – _nothing – _I can do, and I'm not even there. I don't know…"_

_He trails off because he doesn't even know what he's trying to say, and he's afraid that if he keeps talking, he'll start crying again. The last thing he wants to do right now is let _anyone_ help him, even Eleri. He takes a deep breath, and in a low voice, he mumbles, "Thanks for getting everyone out of here. I think – I think I'll just go to bed now."_

_Eleri looks at him for a moment and then just kind of nods and walks out. Once she is gone, Charlie stumbles to the bed and flops face first onto his pillow. He doesn't sleep that night. He doesn't close his eyes at all, in fact, until he gets the next owl, and that's when he really can't control his tears, and he couldn't be more relieved that he's alone. When he finally calms down, he also realizes that it's time he meets Harry Potter. He did save his sister, after all. He'd like to thank him in person._

He wakes with a start, and there's a moment before he realizes that Ginny's all right and no longer in the Chamber of Secrets. He starts to breathe easier until the second reality hits the same way it always does – with full force. Fred isn't all right. Fred… still … isn't all right.

He turns back over and closes his eyes tightly. He can't think about that now. He needs to sleep. He can do this. He did it the night he found out about his dad…

_He hasn't gotten a mid-week owl in three years, and when this one swoops in the window, his stomach does that funny swooping thing itself. He is alone this time, though, and he is shivering as he rips open the parchment. This time, the words blur before he even finishes reading them, and the letter falls from his hands as he sits, stiff with shock. It can't be… his father… no. This can't be happening._

_But then he picks up the letter and looks at it again, hoping that the words will change if he stares at them long enough, but they don't; they don't, and he balls it up, taking it to the bed with him as he falls across it. He wishes he could breathe easily; he wishes his stomach didn't hurt; he wishes he weren't crying, and he falls asleep with the letter crumpled in his fist._

_And the next morning, he wakes up and paces around his flat. He wants to scream with frustration. Why can't he be there?_ _When will he know something?_ _How could they keep him in the dark like this? It isn't fair; it isn't, but suddenly, an owl is flying through his window again, and he hardly manages to detach the parchment from his leg because his hands are shaking so badly. When he finally gets it free, though, he waits. Should he open it? Does he want to know? Because they were lucky last time, with Ginny. They won't always be this lucky. Maybe now's when their luck's run out. But this is stupid, he realizes, because if this were bad news, then one of them would be here. They wouldn't let him learn about it in a letter … would they? There is only one way to find out. He opens the letter, and he is breathing again for the first time in 12 hours. He's ok. His father's ok. Their luck's held._

He jolts awake again, and when he looks at the clock, he sighs. He's only slept another half hour. This isn't fair. He needs to sleep; he really does. He punches his pillow as he turns over again. He can do this. He can go to sleep and stay there. He has to. He did it after he found out about Ron and Ginny's night at the ministry, after all…

_It's almost starting to seem like a sick joke when the owl flies in, and this time Eleri is the only other one there. He'd only gotten the owl about his dad a year ago, and the fact that they're coming more frequently now terrifies him. This war… it's real, and his family is a prime target again. Eleri puts her hand out to take the parchment once it's become clear that he's no longer reading it. She scans it quickly and then turns to him._

"_They're going to be all right," she said quietly but firmly, and he can't look at her, but he nods. When he doesn't say anything, she says, "They are. You read the letter. None of their injuries are that serious."_

_He lets out a deep sigh, and now she moves closer to him. _

"_Charlie," she whispers, "it's ok."_

_But he shakes his head. "It isn't," he manages to say. "I've – I've never been there for any of this, you know. Not Ginny's abduction, not Dad's snake bite, not this… and things are getting worse there, El. These letters – I'm just going to keep getting them. I think sometimes that maybe – maybe I should move back there."_

_She sighs. They've had this conversation before, and every time they do, it ends the same way. Hoping to avoid the argument, she says quietly, "You're doing important work here, too."_

_He still won't look at her, but he says, "But they're in danger."_

_She shakes her head. "And you'd stop that how?"_

_He has no answer, but that doesn't help his fear, and he throws the letter on the table as he shoves back his chair._

"_I'm going to bed," he mutters, and he leaves the room. After a moment, Eleri joins him, and her heart sinks when she sees his shoulders shaking, but she says nothing. She just puts her arms around him tightly and prays that he won't ever get these letters again._

Charlie almost smiles in his sleep, the feel of Eleri's arms still with him, but then he's awake again, and he's alone, and this is the worst one yet because now he misses her too, _and_ he can't stop remembering all of this. He levitates his blankets, letting them settle on him again lightly, and he tries counting snitches. Something's _got _to work. If he could fall asleep after he learned about Bill's scars, after all…

_He almost expects the owl this time. It sounds terrible, but he's gotten used to the idea that his family is in danger and that he's been relegated to hearing about it through the post. But this letter… his legs can't even support him._

_Bill was attacked. _Bill _was attacked. His big brother – well, it's just not possible. Bill is the only one who can't get hurt. Charlie wishes Eleri were here this time, but he can't even get the wherewithal to floo her because he can't stop shaking. This time it's not just his hands. It's his whole body. He only manages to fall into bed, and he's still there when the next owl finally arrives. _

_Bill's going to be ok. He's ok. He's scarred, but he's ok. He repeats the words to himself like a mantra. Ok. Bill's ok. And he doesn't even realize that he's crying until Eleri lets herself into the flat and then rushes to him. She takes him in her arms, and he hides his head in her lap, his tears soaking her skirt. And he's never felt more stupid than the moment when he calms down and manages to say… "He's ok. Bill's ok."_

_Because why was he really crying after all? But Eleri just smiles with relief and then goes into the kitchen to make tea as he dashes off a quick note. This time, he really will go home. Not for good, but he needs to see Bill. And when he does, he has to bite his lip to keep from crying out, but he manages to smile instead. Because all that matters is that Bill is ok and still here. That's always been all that matters. That they're all still here._

And when he wakes up again, the sunlight is streaming through the windows, and his pillow is wet, and Charlie knows why. Because they're not all still here. And that's why he's home now.

**A/N: So I obviously decided to continue this, and I changed the description. Please read and review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This one takes place 24 hours after the last. **

It has been the worst day of his life. Charlie crawls into bed and wishes he could sigh with relief, but his chest still feels tight, and he rolls onto his pillow and squeezes his eyes shut. The problem with that, of course, is that the minute he closes his eyes, he sees everything he wishes he could forget.

_The morning is cold when he wakes up. He forgets for a split second why he is at home, why he is in his own bed, and then he remembers, and a pit settles in the bottom of his stomach. He can't do this. He just can't._

_He is still lying there when there is a knock on his door. He doesn't answer. Maybe if he just pretends to be asleep, they'll leave him there. He doesn't realize that the person who is knocking is Bill and that he won't take no for an answer._

_And then Bill is in his room, and Charlie knows he has no choice. He stares up at his older brother blearily, and while Bill seems like he's drawn himself up to shout, he takes one look at Charlie's face, and he just deflates. Sitting down on the edge of his bed in his formal dress robes, he slumps over and rests his head in his hands._

_Charlie doesn't want to look at him. He wishes he could pull the pillow over his head and hide, but then Bill is sniffling, and he knows he has no choice. He sits up with a sigh and moves to where his older brother now has his hands now completely covering his face. Charlie puts his arm around him, and for a moment, Bill tenses up so much that Charlie is afraid he's going to haul off and hit him. But then, just like he knew would happen, Bill collapses against him as his shoulders start shaking violently._

"_Sshhh," Charlie tries to whisper. "It's going to be ok."_

_It isn't, though. And he knows it. He has to blink quickly even while he keeps his arms around his brother. He has to hold on. If even Bill is falling apart – and so early, too – he has no choice. _

* * *

_But then he is sitting in the front row of too many rows of chairs, and he can hardly breathe. The service hasn't even started yet. This isn't good. He wants to take deep breaths, but he's afraid that people will hear him. If they hear him, then they'll know. _

_When the wizard starts to talk and uses words like "hero" and "fighter," he starts to feel a little calmer. Because as much as he's proud of his family's role in this war – and Fred, of course, in particular – these are never words he's associated with his little brother. He just has to keep his eyes away from that… thing. If he looks at it and thinks about what's inside, then he has no chance._

_As the speech seems to start wrapping up, Charlie starts to breathe more easily. It's got to be almost over. It's just got to. If it's almost over, then he'll have made it through in one piece. But… oh, this can't be happening. _

_It's George. George, who hasn't said a word to anyone in days, is walking to the front of the crowd with a piece of parchment clutched tightly in his hand. His eyes are still dazed, but he faces everyone, holds up the parchment and starts to read. _

_And that's when Charlie knows he's lost. Because not only is he having trouble breathing, but now his eyes are burning, and he can't even see his brother. He wants to cover his face, but then everyone will know. He blinks as fast as he possibly can, but as George continues to speak, his voice starts to shake, and then even blinking's not working anymore. The tears are spilling down his face, and he finds himself bending almost in half as he buries his face in his knees, his arms wrapped around them. He feels hands on his back, patting him, and he knows it's Ginny and probably Bill, but he can't sit up; he can't do anything but concentrate on breathing._

_It isn't until the entire service is over that he finally manages to sit up again. The only people left are himself and George, and George is staring at him. His face is white and tired, and his eyes are dry but shocked. Charlie knows that the shock is because of his own tears. Well, he's not surprised. He doesn't cry, and all of his siblings know it. He tries to smile at George, but he knows it looks much more like a grimace, so he stops immediately._

_He realizes it must be time to go to the graveyard, so he stands up and walks over to where George is still sitting and still staring at him, but as he gets closer, he also sees that George is shivering._

"_Are you ready to go, mate?" he almost whispers, because he still doesn't trust his voice, but George shakes his head quickly._

"_I don't want to," he rasps, and his voice sounds like gravel. He looks down, and Charlie slowly lowers himself into the chair beside him. But now George isn't looking at him anymore, and Charlie hardly knows what to do. He wishes desperately for one of their parents to come back or for Bill to come looking for them, but minutes pass; no one comes, and Charlie realizes that if he doesn't say something – and fast – George is going to miss the burial, and then things will be worse than they already are – if that's even possible._

_He clears his throat and stands up._

"_Come on," he says, and he takes George's arm and tugs gently, hoping to pull him to his feet. To his surprise, it works – for a moment. And then George's knees buckle, and he is falling back to his seat, and Charlie is going with him._

_George is bright red now, and he can't look at his older brother._

"_Just – just leave me here," he mutters, his voice anguished as he turns away, but Charlie knows this is not an option._

"_If you're not going, I'm not either," he says quietly. He watches his brother stiffen, and then George turns back at last, and now his face is twisted as if he's staring into the sun._

"_Don't make me do this," he pleads, and his voice breaks. The tears he has been desperately trying to fight are now brimming in his eyes, and he swallows hard against the lump in his throat. _

_Charlie knows now what he needs to do, and he puts both arms around him as George starts to cry at last, his sobs wracking his whole body. Charlie sighs, but his breath catches, and then he's crying too. It's a long time before either of them calms down, and then, without another word, they go. _

_Stupidly, he thinks he's gotten it out of his system. And he's ok for most of the service. But then the coffin gets lowered into the ground, and he hears a noise he never remembers hearing before. He turns without thinking, and he sees it, the one sight he's always hoped to avoid. His father is crying. The lump that seems to have taken up permanent residence in his throat is back, and he feels like he's choking. He doesn't know how much longer he can stand there when, mercifully, it's over._

_He is the first to get back to the house. He is the first to help his mother bring things in and out of the kitchen. He is the first to welcome people and the first to see them off. And he is the first to go to bed that night. _

Charlie opens his eyes again, and he wipes his face on his sleeve. Why sleep, he wonders, if this is the world he'll wake up to in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Fi, thanks for talking out the idea for this one with me. That's why it's here at all._

More owls. It seems like there are always more owls. These aren't bringing bad news – the worst has already happened, after all – but he still doesn't know how to handle them. She won't stop writing to him, and he doesn't know how to answer her. So he doesn't. He feeds the owls who bring him her letters, reads what she's sent him, and then stows them in the battered old desk in the corner of his room.

He doesn't expect her to keep writing. Romania is far away, after all. Maybe she'll forget about him. Maybe that would be for the best. He doesn't have time right now for anything more than his family. (He _shouldn't_ have time for anything more than his family. He's the one who barely managed to come home for these past few years. So what does it say that he doesn't know how to be around them?)

He is wandering through the orchard one afternoon two weeks after the funeral. He can't seem to sit still these days. Sitting still means sitting in the house, and sitting in the house means being near his mother, and he can't be near his mother. He sighs. He hates himself for it, but he can't help it. He still doesn't know what to say.

He doesn't know how long he's been walking when he distantly hears someone calling his voice. He moves back in the direction of the house. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ron sitting on the ground, almost hidden by the shrubbery, and he moves faster. It couldn't be clearer that Ron doesn't want anyone to see him now.

When Charlie gets back to the Burrow, he finds Ginny standing in the doorway, and the look in her eyes confuses him. She's staring at him as if she doesn't really know him, and when he looks back at her quizzically, she motions for him to follow her inside. He does… and he stops short. Because now he understands the look in his sister's eyes.

Eleri is sitting on the couch with Molly. Charlie's mouth goes dry, and he opens it to say something, but no words will come out. She half stands when he walks in, and he almost runs to her, almost grabs her in his arms, but something stops him. It is the look in her eyes, the hurt that he knows he's inflicted. His shoulders slump, and he finds himself saying woodenly, "Mum, I see you've met Eleri."

His mother looks at him for a moment and then nods.

"We've been talking for a few minutes," she says quietly, and he knows that she can see his struggle. What he doesn't know is if she understands, if she can see just from looking at him how much Eleri means to him – and how much he wishes she didn't right now.

But it isn't long before Molly is getting to her feet and leaving them alone. And he's pretty sure then that she does understand because she touches his arm as she goes, and it takes every ounce of willpower for him not to go with her.

Once she is gone, Eleri merely watches him, and he watches her, and neither of them says a word. A few minutes pass before her comfortingly familiar husky voice asks, "Were you planning on sitting down?"

He can't say no to her. He's never been able to. He perches on the edge of the couch, just inches away from her, but there might as well be a solid brick wall between them. He rubs his hands over his knees, wondering how he could possibly break this terribly awkward silence, when she says, "I've been writing and writing, Charlie."

His ears start to grow hot. He continues to stare into his lap. When he doesn't respond, she sighs.

"I don't understand you," she continues, but while her words aren't friendly, her voice is more gentle than it really should be – than he really deserves. He doesn't know why, but he's afraid that it might have something to do with how well she knows him – which means that she also knows how very much close to the edge he is right now.

He forces himself to look at her, and he sees her pain. He feels a pang. He did this.

"I'm sorry," he says hoarsely. He looks away again, but he continues talking. "I know I haven't been fair. It's just – I've been busy around here…"

Eleri says nothing. In fact, the silence seems to grow colder, and Charlie looks up again. Her eyes have become steely.

"You think you've been the only one who has things going on in his life? Charlie, I was _worried _about you. I _care _about you. You _know_ this. I wasn't writing to take up your time. But… well … if that's the way it seems, then maybe I should just go. I'll find a portkey. Obviously, this was a bad idea."

His mouth opens but nothing comes out. He feels desperation rising like a bubble in his chest, but he doesn't know how to fix this. Her face is red, and her brown hair is flying out behind her as she stalks to the door, and she is almost out of sight behind it when he finally speaks.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Her footsteps slow. She turns halfway without really looking at him, and he knows she is trying not to cry.

"_What _wasn't supposed to be like this?" she asks as she pushes her voice out past the lump in her throat.

Charlie lets out a shaky breath. "This. You being here. You were supposed to come back with me, and then I would introduce you to everyone. And you'd meet the whole family."

She is looking at him now, but he can't bring himself to look all the way at her. She takes one step toward him as she asks, "Why can't you do that now? Why can't you make it the way you think it was supposed to be?"

He shakes his head, but he's staring at his feet, and he says gruffly "Because I can't. It's – it's not. It's not the way it's supposed to be."

And he knows she understands because she's walking the rest of the way to him, and then she's sitting next to him again. She takes his hand silently, and he struggles, suddenly, to blink back the tears that are stinging his eyes. He swallows hard.

"I'm ok," he tries to say, and she nods, but he knows he's not convincing either of them. A few minutes later, he finally says, "Come with me? I need – I need to introduce you to some people."

Even though Molly has already met her, Charlie brings her back into the kitchen so he can formally introduce her to his mother. He brings her to the shed so she can meet his father. He brings her to Shell Cottage to meet his older brother and sister-in-law. And she sits beside him at dinner where she meets George, Ron, Hermione, Percy, Ginny and Harry.

It is hours after dinner, when everyone else has gone to sleep, that he takes her out of the Burrow's protective charms and apparates them to the one place he keeps trying to avoid. She knows immediately where they are, and her grip on his hand tightens.

They stand before the cold grey marble, and Eleri stares straight ahead, even when she feels Charlie starting to tremble. She merely squeezes his hand, hoping to lend him the strength that he desperately needs but would never ask for. It isn't until she hears him sniffling that she finally turns to him, but he is already turning to meet her as well, and then he is burying his face in her shoulder, clutching her to him as if he never wants to let go.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into her hair. "I wanted you here. I've needed you more than anything. But you're supposed to be able to get to meet Fred. Now – now you'll never get to meet my little brother. You'll never know George how he's supposed to be. You'll never…"

His words drown in the sobs that are now wracking his body, and she rocks him and rubs his back, trying to murmur soothingly through her own tears.

She is supposed to sleep in the living room. He is supposed to sleep in his bedroom. But when Molly comes downstairs in the morning to find them intertwined in the armchair, dried tears on their cheeks, she is oddly relieved. Charlie's isolation has been another worry for these past few weeks. Maybe… maybe now he has what he needs.

**A/N: This isn't the end. I do want to write a few more chapters. Please read and review. I'm more than open to ideas of where anyone wants to see this go.**


	5. Chapter 5

Eleri wants to go to Hogwarts. Charlie can hardly believe it when she tells him. He can hardly bear to think about the last time he was there, and he _certainly _can't tell her about it, but she's been in England for a month now. She's been holding his hand whenever things get too hard, and so he can't say no when she says she wants to see where he went to school.

He manages to smile and nod when she asks, but when she goes to bed that night, he bolts for Shell Cottage and his older brother. Luckily, Bill and Fleur are still awake, and Charlie tries to hide the panic in his voice when he asks them if they feel like going along for the day. He starts to breathe for the first time when they immediately agree to go. Fleur even offers to bring a picnic lunch for when they're finished walking around.

Once he gets back home, Charlie glances in the mirror in the bathroom, and he sighs. No wonder they agreed so readily. He'd have agreed to anything he'd asked for too if he'd seen himself looking like this. But he shakes his head. At least it was only Bill and Fleur. And they're going. That's all that matters right now.

* * *

When Eleri finds Charlie the next morning, he holds out his hand to her.

"We're going to Shell Cottage," he informs her, but as her face falls slightly, he adds, "Bill and Fleur want to come with us to Hogwarts. We'll all go together."

Now she smiles, and Charlie can't help but smile too. Making her happy might make this trip worth it. And if he can manage to stay away from the Great Hall, he might even be able to get through this in one piece. He just has to hope Bill won't remember.

But when they arrive at Shell Cottage, he knows his luck won't hold out that much. Bill is already looking at him with concern in his eyes, and he's starting to think it was a mistake to ask these two to come along. But it's too late now. He forces another smile (that he knows Bill can see through) and asks with as much cheer as he can muster, "Are we all ready?"

They are. Within moments, the four find themselves in Hogsmeade, and Eleri is looking around in wonder. It is the first time she's been out of Ottery St. Catchpole since she's arrived, and Charlie feels a pang of guilt for not taking her around more (even though he knows he has a perfectly legitimate excuse). But he points out some of the more interesting shops (taking care to avoid Zonko's – it's still too hard to think about joke shops), and then they make their way to the gates.

Once they are walking to the castle, Charlie finds his breathing growing shallow, and he knows that it has nothing to do with the hill they're climbing. He continues to stare straight ahead, though, because he knows that Bill can hear him and is bound to start worrying again. Eleri is still holding his hand, and he tries not to grip hers even more tightly than he already is. But then he looks at her, and she's smiling in anticipation of what she's about to see. She doesn't know. This can still be all right.

When they walk in the doors, the Great Hall is directly before them, but before he can think of a way to change their direction, Bill does it for him.

"Let's go to Gryffindor Tower. Maybe the Fat Lady will let us in?"

Charlie is so grateful that he almost wants to hug Bill, but he settles for smiling at him, and he pulls Eleri toward the nearest staircase.

It turns out that they're lucky to have Bill with them because the Fat Lady smiles at him and turns a slight pink as she moves aside to let them through. Charlie elbows his older brother in the ribs and snorts.

"Did you know that she had a crush on you, mate?"

Now it's Bill's turn to flush, and he shoves Charlie into the nearest chair.

"Shut up," he mumbles, as he sits down on the couch, pulling a very amused Fleur down onto his lap. She looks at him with her eyebrows raised, and he groans.

"Not you too!" he exclaims, and she laughs.

"_I_ always knew my 'usband was 'andsome, but I deed not know zat even ze portraits in 'Ogwarts knew zis!"

Bill sighs, and before she can say another word, he covers her lips with a kiss.

Now it's Charlie's turn to sigh, and he turns to Eleri, saying, "Let's leave these two alone. There's plenty more to see around here, and I'm sure they'll be busy for a while."

She complies immediately, and soon they find themselves wandering through the rest of the castle. He takes her into the rooms where he had his classes, and he points out the Quidditch pitch from one of the windows in the Transfiguration room. He hardly realizes that they're back in the front of the castle until Eleri points to the huge doors and asks curiously, "What's in there?"

He freezes. He knows that she can sense his sudden tension, but there's no way he can hide it now, so he says quietly, "It's the Great Hall."

Eleri looks at him questioningly, and he clears his throat, adding gruffly, "We ate all of our meals there."

She takes a step toward it, and he realizes that he has no choice but to follow her. He lets out a deep breath, and then, suddenly, they are inside, and he's looking at a room that looks nothing like it did the last time he was there.

The tables are back where they were always supposed to be, and the house banners are once again hanging from the walls. Nothing remains from the last Battle, but Charlie isn't seeing what's before him right now. He's seeing what he's relived every night since the last time he was there.

He's shaking, and Eleri's gone on ahead of him to look more closely at the Gryffindor banner, so she doesn't even know. He's afraid his legs won't support him, though, and he stumbles after her. She only notices when he collapses on the bench behind her, and that's when she starts to look very worried.

"Are you all right?" she asks, as she sits beside him, and he tries to nod, but he knows she doesn't believe him. He can't even look at her, but there's nowhere else in this room that's safe to look at either. His breath is coming in short gasps, and he's starting to wonder if he's about to pass out when he feels a strong arm around him.

Bill helps him to his feet without a word, and he guides him out of the Hall, which is good, because Charlie can hardly see anything with his suddenly blurry vision. Fleur stays with Eleri, and she answers her worry with a sigh.

"'E deed not tell you about ze last time 'e was 'ere, did 'e?"

When Eleri shakes her head, Fleur sighs again.

"Zere is somesing about zese Weasley men. Zey do not like anyone to know about zeir weakness – even eef eet ees not a weakness to anyone else. But Charlie… well, ze last time 'e was in zis room, eet was when 'e found out about what 'ad 'appened to Fred."

She doesn't need to say anymore. Eleri's eyes have filled with tears, and her hand has drifted to her mouth.

"And I made him come back here," she mumbles, but Fleur reaches out now and takes her other hand.

"Do not feel guilty," she says sternly although her eyes are gentle. "You deed not know, and eet ees not so bad for Charlie to 'ave to face zese sings sometimes. In case you have not noticed, 'e ees not very good at zat."

Eleri sniffles, but she smiles now too.

"You're right," she says softly. She squeezes Fleur's hand before letting go and says, "Thanks."

They are sitting there in a companionable silence until Bill and Charlie return, and the first thing Eleri notices, with a pang in her heart, is that Charlie's eyes are bloodshot, and he's trying not to look at her. She glances at Fleur, who is also watching him with tremendous sympathy, and then Fleur turns to her and nods once.

Eleri takes a deep breath and then stands up and approaches the two brothers. Bill is also watching her, and she knows that Charlie is his priority right now, but she can see the pain in his eyes too. She hopes that he trusts her enough to help his brother.

"Fleur told me," she says to the top of Charlie's head, which is the only part of him she can see. "I'm so sorry I asked you to come back here. I didn't know, but I'm ready to leave now if you are too."

Now his head comes up, and his mouth twists as he tries to control himself, but she can see the tears brimming in his eyes, and she takes an almost involuntary step forward only to find that he's done the same. And then he's in her arms, and she's holding him as tightly as she can manage. Her eyes are closed, but she knows that Bill has gone to sit with Fleur, and she can only imagine from the sounds she hears behind her that Fleur is holding Bill as well.

When they are all calmer, Charlie lets out a deep breath and pulls out of the embrace, dragging his hand across his eyes.

"There's one more thing I want to show you," he says to Eleri, and even though his eyes are very red, his voice is calmer. She puts her hand in his, and he leads her from the room, Bill and Fleur trailing at a safe distance behind them.

"My brothers left this behind when they made their grand exit from Hogwarts a few years ago," he says. His voice is tight, but it is also full of pride, and as Eleri examines the small portion of a swamp, she knows that Charlie is giving her something new right now. He's trying to share his family.

_**A/N: So happy to finally have a chance to get back to this! Sorry for the delay. Please read and REVIEW!**_


	6. Chapter 6

One month has passed since the trip to Hogwarts. Charlie and Eleri live in a flat not far from the Burrow. Charlie works occasionally at Hogwarts, but Eleri has put off getting a job. Charlie fears that this is because she's planning on going back to Romania soon, but he can't bring himself to broach the topic. It's the only thing he really couldn't handle right now. He thinks.

They are spending Sunday afternoon at the Burrow because this is what they do now. He wishes he were sitting with Eleri, but his mother cornered him the moment they walked in, and he has no choice but to find out what's obviously bothering her.

"He's back at work, but … I don't know. Something still seems to be upsetting him most nights," Molly whispers.

Charlie nods vaguely, but what he's really doing is watching Eleri and Fleur and wondering how they've gotten to be such close friends.

He's still musing about it when his mother's whispering becomes even more insistent.

"Charlie, he sits around all night doing nothing. He won't stay in his flat anymore, but he doesn't want to sleep in his bedroom here either. He falls asleep on the couch and then Percy or your father gets him to his bed."

Her words start to sink in, and he turns to her.

"Why won't he stay in his flat?"

Molly shrugs, but her eyes are miserable. "I haven't been able to ask him. I was wondering if you…"

She trails off, but Charlie knows what she is asking, and he knows he cannot say no to her even though there is nothing he wants to do less than go there. He _still _has not been able to bring himself to go to that shop. But…

"I'll go see him later today," he finds himself saying, and while he is glad that his mother looks relieved, he isn't. He isn't ready for this. He wants to know why she hasn't asked Bill. But then he looks at his older brother, and the pain in his eyes, and he knows. It's up to him.

* * *

He knows one thing as he and Eleri apparate back to their own flat. He's afraid. He doesn't want to do this, and he definitely doesn't want to do this by himself. But he tells himself he's being ridiculous. He might have managed to avoid it all this time, but that doesn't mean he can't go. He can go. He can do this.

He doesn't really want to tell Eleri; he feels like he brings her down enough as it is, what with his problems sleeping most nights, so he pretends he has to go to the ministry to talk to Percy. It's one of the few places where he doesn't worry that she'll want to accompany him.

He's right, and the next night, he's standing on his own in front of the joke shop, and for some reason, his feet seem to be stuck to the cobblestones.

He's still staring straight ahead when he realizes that he's no longer looking at his own reflection but at another face, very similar to his own, that is staring back at him through the dusty window. He quickly forces a smile, but it fades quickly when George disappears. If he's coming to the door, that means he's probably going to expect Charlie to come inside…

And then he is in the doorway, and he's forcing a smile of his own as he beckons for his older brother to enter. Charlie's throat feels very dry, and he tries unsuccessfully to swallow as he finds his feet moving him to the door.

Walking in isn't as bad as he'd thought it would be. For some reason, they are the only people there, and he glances quickly across the shelves, trying to murmur his approval, but the words die in his throat when he comes to the photo.

It is posted up behind the register, and it is of the twins in their magenta robes, their arms slung around each other's shoulders, their heads tilted back in laughter. As he watches, they grin at each other and then get into a shoving match.

He has to turn away quickly from the photo, from George. But George doesn't notice. He's trying to keep up a lively chatter, and so it isn't until he turns back from where he's been pointing out the shelves of Canary Creams that he realizes his brother is no longer listening and that he's standing very, very still.

"Ch – Charlie?" he asks, but Charlie won't turn around. He can't. He's here to make George feel better. This… this won't make George feel better.

But … he hears a sound that forces him to turn. George has sighed shakily and is now leaning against the register, staring with glazed eyes of his own at the photo. He glances at Charlie and says hoarsely, "Sometimes… sometimes I even manage to forget it's there."

Charlie nods but doesn't speak. He's afraid to. If he keeps his mouth tightly shut, though, he can be supportive. He grasps George's shoulder and feels his younger brother's slight trembling, but as his grip tightens, George lets out a sound that's something between a whimper and a sob, and then, suddenly, the bell over the door rings.

George freezes, and before Charlie can say a word, he bolts for the back. Charlie lets out a deep breath as he turns toward the very confused-looking customer. Clearly, it's now up to him to speak to her. (He hopes he can remember enough from his brief stint at Quality Quidditch Supplies many years ago.)

"Can I help you?" he asks, and his voice hardly sounds like his own, but this woman doesn't know him, so she merely blinks owlishly behind large spectacles and asks about muggle magic tricks. Apparently, her son wants fever fudge, but she will _not _buy him anything that would allow him to miss class. Charlie winces inwardly, feeling sympathy for the poor boy, but this is an easy sale, so he shows her some playing cards and rope tricks, and a few moments later, she's on her way.

The moment she's gone, Charlie locks up behind her and turns the sign to "closed." Then he sighs and walks to the back where he is unsurprised to find George standing in the corner, slumped against the wall, his head down. Charlie knows without even asking that this is where George stopped when he walked into the room and that he hasn't been able to move any farther.

"Come on," he says softly, taking him by the elbow. George can't even protest as Charlie guides him up to the flat, and it isn't until they are halfway through the door that George starts shaking uncontrollably.

"I – I can't," he stutters, and Charlie suddenly remembers Molly's words – that George won't stay in his flat anymore – and he wants to hex himself for doing this to him.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "We – we can go. Do you want to go back to the Burrow? I'll side along you."

But George is shaking too hard for either of them to apparate _anywhere_, and before Charlie realizes what's happening, George has wrenched out of his grasp and is stumbling toward his bedroom. Charlie stares after him for a moment, and he wonders if George really wants him there anymore anyway –maybe it would be better for him to just leave now – but then he hears the sound he always dreads. He forces himself to walk into the other room – and stops short.

George is lying face down on a bed, and Charlie knows, once again, without knowing how, that it is NOT his. And now the lump is back in his throat, and he wishes he'd just gone home. But his feet carry him over to where George's shoulders are now shaking violently, and he sits beside him gingerly and puts his hand on his back.

His touch seems to trigger something, and George turns over. For a moment, he and Charlie stare at each other, and then George whispers, "It – it doesn't smell like him anymore. I wanted it – I want it to smell like him."

And then he rolls over again. Charlie tries to take a deep breath, but it hitches in his throat, and he is suddenly glad that George has his face shoved into the pillow because the tears are now rolling down his face, and he doesn't want him to see. He doesn't want anyone to see.

But he doesn't realize how much noise he is making; he doesn't expect George to roll over again; he doesn't know how it happens, but George has his arms around him, and they are crying together for the first time he can ever remember. And he's glad he stayed.

_**A/N: Oh, I am SO sorry for the TREMENDOUS delay, but I have FINALLY finished up my work for the year. Lots of time to write now! Expect quicker updates on this AND Weasley Family Heartbreak, for sure. Please read and REVIEW! I'm back! **_


	7. Chapter 7

"_I think it's time to go back."_

Eleri's been repeating these words in her head for days, but she still doesn't know how to say them to Charlie. Every time she looks at him, she remembers the look in his eyes when he came back from the shop that night. He'd told her he was going to the ministry before he left, but by the time he came back, he couldn't lie anymore, and everything spilled out.

Whenever she thinks of that night, she feels a chill thinking of how upset he was. Of course it wasn't the first time she'd seen him so sad, but it was the first time since the funeral that he hadn't been able to calm down for such a long time. She worries now that if she says these words that are always on the tip of her tongue, she'll trigger some sort of outburst from him. It's the last thing she wants to do.

But it _is _time. She's held off on getting a job, and she's sure he knows why. She's sure he knows that this move was never meant to be permanent. But… he got a job. And he's slipped right back into the routines of the life at the Burrow. She wonders, sometimes, watching him, why he ever left.

She needs to tell him. But she doesn't want to be the one to hurt him now.

* * *

They arrive at their flat after yet another night spent at the Burrow, and she knows now is probably not the right time either. It's one of the harder days… one of what she's come to think of as a Fred day. She knows why, too, of course. She saw Katie's face when George disappeared after dinner. Whenever George is having a tough time, all of his siblings seem to absorb it. It's something she and Fleur have discussed, and she wonders if it will ever be any different.

Right now, though, this is what it is, and Charlie is more snappish than usual. She knows it's because he feels so achingly helpless, but these are the nights when she tends to stay out of his way.

He is prowling through the flat now, and she is in the bedroom, wondering if he's ever going to be calm enough to come to bed, when he flings open the door and snaps, "I can't find any cereal. What happened to the cereal?"

She stares at him for a moment and then forces her voice to remain calm when she says, "You finished it on Friday. You said you'd pick up more yesterday."

He stares back and then lets out an explosive breath, muttering "bloody brilliant" as he once again slams the door shut behind him.

Eleri collapses back against the pillows again, and she knows that their jobs aren't the only reason she wants to go back to Romania. These things… well, they would have to be easier if he had a little distance… wouldn't they?

* * *

Two days later, Charlie's mood still hasn't improved, but Eleri knows she just has to say it.

_Just spit it out_, she urges herself as they sit across their small table from each other. He is pushing his food around his plate, so he doesn't see the struggle of indecision on her face.

But before she can say a word, though, he looks up, and he can tell that she's got something on her mind. He sighs and pushes his chair back from the table. Eleri knows it's probably to give himself more room, but she can't help but feel like he's moving away from her, like he knows she's about to say something he probably doesn't want to hear. So she takes a deep breath. If he's expecting it, she might as well not let him down – right?

"Charlie," she says slowly, and she presses her hands to the edge of the table as she says, "I was thinking. Maybe – well, it's probably time to go back home, don't you think? They're not going to hold our jobs at the reserve forever…"

She trails off when she realizes he looked down when she started talking, and he hasn't looked up since.

"Charlie?" she says softly, and he looks up now. His expression is blank, but he nods.

"Sure," he says, and his voice is devoid of any emotion.

She is shocked, but she manages to keep her own voice neutral as she says, "So I'll just get in touch with Dr. Vieuxhomme and let him know we'll be back… when?"

Charlie shrugs. "Next week?"

His voice is still flat, but Eleri has no reason to think he's not serious, so she nods slowly and gets to her feet.

"I'll – I'll just send an owl now," she says, and she hurries from the room. There's something in Charlie's eyes that he thinks she can't see. But she knows. He should be alone right now. At least that's what she's telling herself.

* * *

They don't speak to each other very much in the days that follow. Eleri spends most of her free time packing. She has a hard time going to the Burrow since Charlie never told her what happened when he told his parents that they were going back to Romania. She's sure they blame her for the fact that they are now going to lose another son.

But then it is the night before they are set to leave, and Charlie mumbles that his mother would like it very much if they would come for dinner. She's invited everyone as a sort of going-away party. She nods, but her mouth feels very dry. This isn't something she'd have thought Molly Weasley would even pretend to celebrate.

When they get to the Burrow, she realizes that she was wrong – on so many levels. Molly smiles at her and hugs her tightly and tells her that they will miss them both but that she knows Eleri will take good care of her son. And Arthur hugs her as well, tells her the same. No one seems angry with her. No one seems disappointed. No one but… Charlie.

But when Eleri looks at him across the crowded table, she sees that he's completely unaware of his own anger, his own disappointment. He doesn't know what she does – that _he's _the only one who doesn't want him going back to Romania. She wonders if she should tell him, but then she knows – she can't. Selfishly, she wants him there with her, and she won't sabotage this chance at happiness.

If she can just get him away, she thinks, everything will be all right.

But the goodbyes are harder than she'd even imagined they might be. Even she feels the wrench at the end of the night when Molly and Arthur each hug her tightly, but it's especially difficult to say goodbye to Fleur. Fleur has become a friend. Eleri's chest tightens as she hugs the other woman, and she chokes, "We'll be back to visit, of course. Charlie could never stay away for so long again."

When Fleur pulls back and looks at her, Eleri knows that she's seen it in Charlie's eyes too. Neither of them says another word, though, and they both turn to watch as Charlie makes his way through the room, saying goodbye to each member of the family.

He's said goodbye to his parents, had Molly smile bravely before breaking down and making him promise he'll eat at least four square meals a day. He's hugged Percy, Ron, Hermione, shaken hands with Harry before pulling him into a short hug of his own. He's squeezed Ginny so tightly that she rubbed at her ribs when he eventually let her go. And finally, the only people left are George and Bill. He stops in front of George, and Eleri can see even from where she's standing that he's biting down on his lip, and George sees it too. Without a word, he pulls his older brother into a tight hug, and they thump each other on the back a few times before breaking away. Then George hurries from the room but not before Eleri can see that his face has started to crumple. She feels another stab. She's done this to him. She's taken away another one of his brothers. But before she can think anymore about that, Ginny brushes past her as she follows him out. Ginny saw it too.

And then the only person left for Charlie to say goodbye to is Bill, but as they eye each other, it's clear that neither of them is willing to do this with an audience.

"We'll walk you out," Bill says gruffly, and he reaches for Fleur's hand as she walks to him immediately.

Charlie and Eleri take one last look at the assembled group before they turn to follow his brother and sister-in-law out the door.

They all stop at the gate, just shy of the disapparation point, and Charlie turns to Fleur first, hugging her briefly but very tightly. When he releases her, he and Bill look at each other for a moment before Charlie reaches out a hand to shake Bill's. But Bill pushes his hand aside and pulls him into a hug. For a moment, Charlie stands stiffly, but then he is clutching the back of Bill's shirt in his fist as his shoulders start heaving, and Eleri's eyes start burning as Bill's breathing becomes labored as well. She glances at Fleur, and she isn't surprised to see tears coursing down her friend's cheeks.

It is a long time before Charlie pulls himself out of Bill's embrace, mumbles a quick word that none of them hears, and then he is gone. Eleri casts a quick, pained look at where Fleur is now holding her husband as he mumbles, "I wish – I wish we had dragons here," and then she, too, disapparates.

This is much harder than it should be. She can't help but wonder if they – if he – is making the right decision.

_**A/N: And Katy, I have to thank you again for both your ideas for this story AND for your own. (Yes, I stole the name of their boss from B&B as well. You're a life saver. I think my stories are more in line with yours than my own!) Please read and REVIEW! There's still a little ways to go.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Charlie knows he's hurting Eleri with his silence, but he doesn't know how to break it.

He's been silent for a week now, ever since they moved back into their rooms near the dragon reserve, and he just can't seem to open his mouth. He's been tempted on occasion. It's not that he doesn't have things to say – he has _plenty_ of things to say. But he's afraid to say any of them. He's afraid to even _think _any of them. So it's safer if he doesn't talk. He keeps repeating that to himself.

Eleri hardly knows what to make of this silence. She's starting to wonder if she made a mistake suggesting this, that he come back with her, but she still can't imagine being here without him, so she just wakes up in the morning, eats her breakfast, goes to the reserve, and then comes home.

They see their friends sometimes, but that doesn't happen too often because Charlie is finding it hard to speak to _anyone_ – and as ashamed as she is of the sentiment, Eleri is actually happy about that. It's the only consolation she has when she wonders if he loves her anymore.

The only people Charlie wants to talk to are in a tall, crooked house in Ottery St. Catchpole. He sends owls everyday, writing more in this week than he did in all the years he lived here after leaving Hogwarts.

And when he and Eleri sit down to dinner on their eighth day back in Romania, he takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and swallows with an audible click. In the back of his mind is the letter he's just received from his mum, and he almost hears her voice when he thinks of her closing words… "_It doesn't seem like you're very happy to be back there, dear. Your father and I will always keep your room for you if you ever want to come home."_

Eleri hasn't even looked up from her plate at the sounds he's just made, and he realizes that he's going to have to speak if he wants to get her attention. He wonders how he's going to say this. He wonders if it's going to hurt. He wonders if she'll think of it as a defeat.

He has no choice. He forces his mouth open and manages to say "El…"

Now she looks up with a start, and in spite of the fact that she's just spooned some pudding into her mouth, her jaw drops slightly. For a moment, they just stare at each other, and then she closes her mouth, swallows, and says flatly, "You're going back, aren't you?"

He flushes and only manages to look at her for another moment before he's forced to look away. There is a longer silence now, and then Eleri says, her voice brittle, "When will you leave?"

Charlie finally looks up at her again, and he shrugs, but he almost wishes he could take the words back. The pain in her eyes – as much as she's trying to hide it – hurts him, and he wishes there were some way for both of them to be happy, but he knows that's not possible. She needs to be here, and he – he knows now that he needs to be with his family. He takes another deep breath.

"I guess I have to talk to a few people, let them know I'm going, and then… I guess I'll leave in a couple of days."

Her intake of breath is audible to both of them, and her eyes are glistening when she looks at him now. But her jaw is set, and Charlie knows she won't let him see what he's done to her – not if she can help it, that is.

"I'll help you pack," she manages to choke out, and then she shoves her chair away from the table and stalks from the room, slamming the bedroom door so hard that the walls rattle. He feels as if he's lost his breath, and he sits at the table, staring at the food he's hardly touched. He's made his decision … so why does he suddenly feel so numb? Shouldn't he at least feel relieved?

* * *

For the next two days, Charlie wonders why he didn't just leave immediately. If he thought things were strained with Eleri before, that was nothing compared to how they are now. Before, at least, she'd try to talk to him, try to make him feel better. Now … now it just seems like she's entirely given up. She hasn't said a word to him since that dinner, and when he went into their bedroom that night, he found all of his clothes stuffed into a suitcase, the top unceremoniously jammed closed.

Not only is she not speaking to him, but she's not looking at him either. And he knows this because now that he knows he's going, he can't stop looking at her. He is trying to memorize her face, her mannerisms, anything he can, and he knows she must be aware of his attentions, but she's given no indication of that. Charlie is reminded of that wireless his father used to fiddle with in his shed. It's as though Eleri has a switch, and she's turned it off. Charlie is no longer on her radar, and he can't believe how much this hurts.

But the day finally arrives when he is to leave, and when he stumbles out of the bedroom to pour himself a coffee, he sees that she hasn't gone to the reserve yet. She is sitting on the couch, her arms wrapped her around her legs, her long dark hair shielding her face, and she is very, very still.

Charlie approaches her slowly, holding his mug tightly in one hand, and when he sits beside her, she suddenly turns and looks directly at him for the first time in days.

"I'm sorry," she says, and her voice is harsh. He stares at her for a moment in complete bewilderment.

"For _what_?" he asks, genuinely confused.

She looks at him for a long moment and then shakes her head. She stares directly at the wall in front of her as she continues.

"It's my fault that you came back here in the first place. If I'd just let you be, you'd still be with your family, and I wouldn't have put you through all of this."

Charlie stares at her then, and he puts down the mug, reaching over to take her hand. He squeezes it tightly until she looks at him, and then he says, "I had to come back here to know where I needed to be. I should be thanking you. I'm just…" he trails off. He wants to tell her that he wants her to come back with him, but he knows instinctively that this is not an option. This is her home, just like the Burrow is his.

But she nods. "I know," she whispers, and now he hears the tears in her voice, and he has to let go of her hand. He can't do this, not now, not when he's leaving so soon. He wants his last image here to be of her smiling even though he knows the fact that it's the _last _image means it doesn't matter. No matter how he remembers her, it will never be enough if it's only a memory.

He rushes into their room and grabs his suitcase. Eleri looks at him when he comes back out and tries to force a smile, and he knows she understands. He forces his lips to curve into what he hopes is a smile of his own, and she stands and goes to him, wrapping her arms around him suddenly and tightly.

"I love you," she says, and he hears the tears again. He squeezes her for a moment before he whispers, "I love you too," and then he quickly releases her and grabs his things.

She is standing forlornly in the middle of their living room when he goes, and even though she is still trying to smile, the tears are slipping down her cheeks, and his image of her blurs as he quickly closes the door. He swipes at his eyes quickly and then hurries to find the portkey. It's time to go home.

* * *

And it is a relief but not nearly as much as he'd thought it would be. His parents welcome him with open arms, and Ginny flies to him the moment he walks back through the door, murmuring something about how happy this will make George. Ron gives him a quick awkward hug in the living room, and Percy claps him on the shoulder when they pass on the stairs. And it turns out Ginny was right –George even manages a half-smile at dinner that night. But even though his mum's cooking is as stellar as it's ever been, Charlie still has a problem shoving food down his throat. He can't understand why.

He is up in his room, unpacking, when there's a knock on his door. He doesn't really want to see anyone, but he's home now, and this is what he came back for, isn't it? His family? So he mutters for whoever it is to come in, but he doesn't turn around. And then there's a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up into Bill's face, and without knowing why, he finds himself mumbling, "I – I made her cry when I left."

He has to look away. His eyes are burning, and even though he knows Bill will understand, he still doesn't want him to see. But the pressure of Bill's hand increases, and Charlie finds himself turning back against his will even as his chin trembles.

"I'm all right," he tries to say, but it comes out as a garbled sob, and then he hardly knows how it happens, but Bill is holding him tightly, and he can't seem to stop crying.

That is the last and only thing he ever says to anyone about Eleri. He knows that Fleur wants to ask, but he knows Bill has told her not to. Charlie is grateful. He needs to move on. Not talking – well, it's the only way he knows how.

_**A/N: Well, I needed to write this for myself before I get to the next chapter of WFH, and those of you following that saga will understand why, I'm sure. This might still have another chapter or so to go, but it might not. I'm not sure yet. In any case, please read and REVIEW!!**_


	9. Chapter 9

It's Hogwarts, and it's Hagrid's hut, and it's the only place where Charlie still feels like himself. He goes every morning, and the two of them stand side by side in the blazing sun or the bitter cold, and they tend to the creatures. Charlie doesn't have answers, but Hagrid doesn't ask questions, and it is because of all of this that one day, a month after Eleri leaves, Charlie finally starts to talk.

He hasn't told anyone but Bill about what happened with Eleri, and he won't. Molly has guessed and has offered brief spurts of advice, but he always finds somewhere else he needs to be, and she's finally given up trying. But now… he and Hagrid are taking a break and are sitting in the hut. Hagrid is drinking his undrinkable coffee, and Charlie has made himself a cup of tea with the questionable ingredients of Hagrid's cupboard. They are relaxing in silence at the table, and Fang has his head on Charlie's lap, which makes it perfectly understandable for Charlie to be scratching Fang's ears and not looking at Hagrid when he says, "Eleri's gone, you know."

Hagrid chokes on his coffee but covers his surprise with a loud harrumph. Charlie's eyes flicker up for a moment, but Hagrid is examining his own cup, and Charlie quickly looks back down as he continues talking.

"She – she needs to be in Romania," he mumbles almost indistinctly. "And my mum needs me here now."

Hagrid is nodding slowly, Charlie can see out of the corner of his eye. It gives him the courage to say almost inaudibly, "I need to be here now, too."

He feels his ears burning, but then Hagrid says, "Yer whole family needs yeh here now, Charlie. That's nothin' to be ashamed of."

He sighs and nods. "I know," he mutters. "It's just – I had a whole life in Romania, and now, I've given it all up to be living with my parents again and working at my old school. No offense," he adds quickly, but Hagrid shakes his head, unperturbed.

"Charlie, yeh know as well as I do that we can't plan our lives. None of us would have ever planned fer things to be the way they are now, withou' -- withou' Fred an' all... but we can't change it. Sometimes we jus' have to change our lives instead."

Charlie nods and sighs. Hagrid is right. But that doesn't make this any easier.

"I miss her," he mumbles miserably. His throat feels tight, and he suddenly finds swallowing his tea to be almost impossible. He puts the mug on the table. His hand is clenched, and he is suddenly and oddly grateful for Hagrid's indestructible pottery. He stares at the designs on the side of the mug and whispers, "I don't understand why she couldn't come back with me."

Hagrid sighs. He knows that Charlie doesn't _really_ expect him to have answers, but he also knows that he's looking for them right now anyway.

"D'you love her?" he asks, and Charlie nods almost imperceptibly. Hagrid notices that he is blinking quickly, and he stares at the table, himself; if there's anything he knows for sure, it's that Charlie does _not _want anyone looking at him right now.

"I bet she loves you, too," Hagrid says quietly. He's not sure if this will help, but he feels like it's important to say. Charlie doesn't answer him, and Hagrid knows it's because he can't, but he continues talking anyway, if only to cover the strained sounds of Charlie's breathing that he knows he'd do anything to hide.

"If it's meant to be, Charlie, then it will be," he says. "I bet yer Mum's said this, too, but that's because it's true. If yeh love El, and she loves yeh, then yeh have to b'lieve that yeh'll find yer way to each other someday."

After a few moments, Charlie manages to say, "Thanks, Hagrid. You're right. And my mum did say that, too. It's just – it's hard to believe that sometimes when you're alone…"

Hagrid nods but says nothing. He knows that Charlie doesn't really want a response.

After a few minutes of silence, Charlie clears his throat. He still doesn't look up from the table, but he says, "Let's – let's get back to work."

Hagrid nods, and he gets up first, taking both his and Charlie's cups to the sink. He has just turned back to Charlie, but then he looks quickly at the sink again, pretending not to notice Charlie swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

They make their way back to the nifflers, and Charlie is quickly caught up in taking them out of their cages. Hagrid glances at him out of the corner of his eye. He wishes he could help, but he's not sure how. What he does know is that Charlie is in the right place right now. No one knows how to take care of each other quite like the Weasleys, and there's no doubt in Hagrid's mind that they will do the right thing for Charlie. And in spite of the pain Charlie's in, he knows that Charlie knows this, too.

_**A/N: And Charlie's story is finished at last. It picks up again in Weasley Family Heartbreak, of course, but I'm fairly certain that anyone reading this has also read that. (The relationship with Eleri does continue there for anyone who hasn't read it and is interested.) I'm sorry, once again, for the crazy delay in getting to the end. Thanks for reading.**_


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